How many attempts at a blog does one have to make before one actually writes something that is entertaining, interesting and maybe even slightly meaningful?
Sometimes I think blogging is just this acceptable way of being that crazy lady on the bus who sits down next to you and starts spewing her inner demons all over your personal space. Every once in a while though, the lady has something profound to say. I make no promises of profundity. Profanity, fuck ya, there will be lots of that, but earth shattering truths will most likely be few and far between.
Let us start with an introduction.
I like to ruminate on relationships. I used to own a record label which will remain nameless, but I still find it hard not to name drop it so that I don't have to wait in line or pay for concert tickets and also to impress young boys. I am working on my punter skills but it seems to be going badly and I am still found arms crossed at the back of a club talking out of the side of my face. Recently my dance has come back, and through a 12 step program involving roots, dancehall and hot lesbians in underwear I seem to be learning to actually ENJOY.
Several years back, I decided to become a massage therapist. My mother rolled her eyes. These days I alternately rub people and go to graduate school in social work. When I told my mother about the social work she rolled her eyes too. Her cataract surgery made her glasses obsolete so the eye rolling has taken on a whole new brilliant intensity. Of course I ignored it. Actually I think I must just have internalized it, which is why it is showing up here.
I was married for a few years. I am not anymore. Nuff said.
These days I waffle between fantasies of manly men, comfortable in their own skin, calm on the inside with calloused hands and unshakable love and my reality of raging non-monogamous hedonistic rampaging. I seem to be living the latter however in an effort re-invent myself into something other than a serial monogamist who eats chips on the couch while cursing her dying libido.
I will intermittently post Echardt Tolle quotes. I have Tolle Tourettes. The thing is, they are tongue in cheek as I just can't seem to get rid of the cynical bitch who cringes at the NOW. However as I age.. well the hippie is emerging and I do sort of long for that sense of inner peace. I just hope it has a sense of humour